how-do-you-know-you-have-met-the-right-one.mp3
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Archive for the 'Pastor O’s Corner' CategoryPage 2 of 3
the-man-of-god-does-not-think-she-is-my-wife.mp3
What do you think about a situation where you are in a relationship and the two of you have accepted to get married, you love her and she loves you, but a man of God who has said a lot of things about you in the past that came to pass is saying the girl is not your wife. What will you do?
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is-knowing-god-your-priority.mp3
This was preached in February 2009 at the Fathers Heart Centre in Birmingham.
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Matthew 6:33 (HCSB)
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.
Many people come to God for different reasons. Financial problems, relationship break down, problems with raising their kids, or demonic oppression. In fact, there is an endless list of need oriented reasons why people give their lives to Christ, which makes them sometimes miss the actual essence of the Christian faith -the salvation of their souls.
Unfortunately, many of us never move beyond this point. Which is very sad. God the Father, wants us to seek Him the giver and not the gift. So, I would like to encourage you today, why not do what Jesus said. Seek the kingdom of God and His way of doing things (His Righteousness) and all these things that we worry about will be added to us. The only thing He asks is that we put Him first and not ourselves.
Have a great day and remain strong in the Lord.
It is not news to most of us today that we are in the mist of the one of the worst economic crisis of our time. For some of us, this is the first time the full impact of a recession has really hit home. The 90’s down turn did not mean a thing to me because I was young and did not have any responsibilities.
For married couples, I just want to say this is not the time to turn on each other and start playing the blame game. I know that sometimes in a marriage relationship one person could be the big spender while the other might be trying to rein him or her in.
Well with the economy going belly up, job losses becoming the current trend, with fear and despair on the streets, it might be time to do one thing. You may ask me, what preacher?
It might be time for you to review your marriage vows. It might be time to get the old video or dvd out, get some pop corn and remember what you signed up for. It might be time to solidify your love for each other. You said till death do us part, in sickness and in health.
I am not trying to put a guilt trip on you, or trying to take a swipe at those who have been through a divorce. But the truth is money is one of the major sources of conflict in a marriage. It has also tragically been the end of many unions.
I have a few recommendations for you and I guess you already know most of them.
Repent: If you have bought into materialism, it is time to get before God and repent. Yes, money is important, but a man’s life is not based on the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15). We have to strike a balance. Many of us have been greedy during the boom and some of us hate to admit it. Facing up to the truth is the first step to change.
Stand together: Since you are married there is no point in tearing each other up. Jesus said a house divided against itself will not stand (Matt 12:25). This is not rocket science. Don’t let your flesh get the better of you. Sometimes people say the devil is attacking marriages. That may be true, but there is something we fail to address, we let our flesh run amok in our relationships and give the enemy too much to work with (Eph 4:27).
Restructure your finances: If you have been spending more than you have, it might be time to start getting rid of some of your liabilities. There might be some unnecessary expenses to throw overboard to keep your ship afloat during this crisis (Prov 27:12 MSG). While listening to a teaching series on stewardship, the preacher gave a quote he heard, that simply sums up our capitalist society. “A boom is when we spend money we don’t have; a recession is when we stop spending money we don’t have.”
Forget the Joneses: I have learnt a valuable lesson, and believe me it has taken me very long to implement this. Who cares what the Joneses think? When you create a liability for yourself to impress them, remember they are not going to stay awake with you to pay your bills. Please do not hold on to stuff you should throw away, just to impress a few. Be your own person! I don’t think Jesus would have amounted to much if he spent his time thinking about what the Pharisees and the Priests thought about him. Living your life at the mercy of the opinions of others is a crazy way to live (Prov 29:25 MSG).
Support One another: If a spouse looses their job, they need your support. This is the time to encourage one another. The words you use are very important, and can go a long way to affect your crises positively or negatively (Prov 18:21). Don’t put them down! Support each other. This is what the marriage covenant is about. It is suppose to bring security not chaos.
Knowing that you have got each others back in the crises will go a long way to bring you through it. Remain strong in the Lord!
After your relationship with God, the next most important relationship in your life is the one you have with your spouse. The question is, how much attention do you pay to that relationship?
You see, it is more important than all your previous attachments. Yes! Your parents, siblings and close friends are important. I am not suggesting you have to cut them off. But, when we analyse your scale of preference, your marriage covenant partner should come tops after your Heavenly Father.
When you took your vows, you entered into a covenant with your spouse before God. The Bible views marriage as a covenant relationship between a man and a woman. You have become one in His sight and are required to keep your vows.
Most of the time, we focus so much on adultery, which is a great betrayal in a marriage relationship. There is no way I can downplay the devastation that causes. However, sometimes we miss out on other parts of our vows. What about the promise to love and cherish? What about the promise to provide? What about the promise to honour? What about the promise to submit? What about the promise to take care of the needs of each other?
Malachi 2:14 (AMP)
“… Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows].”
Ephesians 5:31 (NLT)
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
Consider this carefully. When the kids leave home and you are fortunate to have a long life, all you will have is each other. What kind of life would you have then? Would you like memories of all your past indiscretions played out before you in your old age with a cantankerous spouse stressing you out? I guess not.
The bottom line is, the way to determine your harvest in future is to sow good seeds in your relationship today. What you do with your spouse today matters. When the kids leave, you will be back where you started.
Don’t let the hustle and bustle of modern day life stop you from doing this. Start taking time out to work on your relationship today. Don’t take each other for granted. Spent time with each other, go out, have fun, be romantic and enjoy each other’s company. It doesn’t take a lot of money to do this.
I remember once listening to a message by an old preacher called Dr Edwin Louis Cole in the early 90s. He is now late and has gone home to be with the Lord. The title of his message was the “Glory of Virginity”. It was such a powerful message, and it sure did leave its mark on my life as a young person.
At one point in the message, he addressed the pressures young people face with sex. Highlighting a situation where one party in a relationship is pressuring the other for sex against their will causing the other person to violate their conscience.
He said, “Love desires to benefit others at the expense of self, because love desires to give. Lust desires to benefit self at the expense of others, because lust desires to get.” This statement caught my attention and hit me like a ton of bricks. When a person is trying to manipulate another against their will, he or she does not give two hoots about the other person. All they are thinking about is gratifying themselves at the expense of that person. It’s all about them, not you.
Keeping yourself until the day you get marriage was the message he was attempting to get across to us. He was trying to get us out of the “try before you buy” mentality that was prevalent at the time (I guess things haven’t changed much today). As a minster of the Gospel, I believe it is honourable to keep one’s self pure. The Father wants us to keep sex within the context of marriage.
However, sex is not my subject today, I want to address the, me, myself and I attitude of our generation. We know divorce is rampant in our day and age. I realise it is a reality we all have to deal with. The church cannot shy away from it. There is a segment in the body that make up this statistic and we need to minister to them in love as they rebuild their lives.
I am throwing this thought to young couples, old couples, single people (that includes divorcees). Marriage is not about you, but the other person. It’s about giving yourself to the other person at your expense, as opposed to taking at their expense. I believe if a lot of couples adopt this mentality, a lot of homes would be kept together as opposed to being torn apart.
My question is simple. Are you in a relationship just because of what you can get? Or because of what you can give? Is it all about your needs? Your feelings? What about the other parties involved? Do they exist on your radar? Let’s look at what Scripture says:
Philippians 2:4 (NIV) Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
This Scripture is a cure for selfishness. While some might easily apply it to their relationships with fellow believers in the body of Christ, they find it hard to apply it to their spouses; they forget that they are all so brothers and sisters in Christ.
Love is about giving, not taking. The Bible says, “For God so loved the world, that He gave…” (John 3: 16). Brothers and sisters it’s time to start giving. It’s time to start putting others before ourselves. It’s time to start putting our spouses before ourselves.
If you keep on taking without giving back, the long-term effects could be disastrous and lead to a relationship meltdown. Our heavenly Father has called us to love. What better place to start, than at home. Don’t be a taker, be a giver like your Heavenly Father. Let us imitate Him today!
Ephesians 5:1 (AMP) THEREFORE BE imitators of God [copy Him and follow His example], as well-beloved children [imitate their father].
